Tuesday, June 23, 2009

My Life is a Mess

I had dinner with a friend last night and left with one primary feeling over everything else. My life is a mess.

I'm not sure when or how it happened, but I know at this point I've lost focus on all my goals and objectives for my life. So much so at this point that I don't even know where to begin to find out where I left off.

To be fair, I'm currently suffering from a Respiratory infection. The effects of this have been extreme fatigue and lack of memory along with a deep cough. As you can tell from my writing, I'm also having an increasingly hard time organizing and collecting my thoughts. I'm all over the place with pretty much everything that I do.

I had thought that I was doing well. I have a job that makes me a good amount of money, a place to live, a car. I have good friends and a large family. Most people would probably trade with me at any point. Knowing that doesn't help much since I feel so confused and lost.

I've gotten to the point know where there are just so many things to know and consider about every aspect of life that I've completely lost the ability to discern what is right or wrong. I feel like I have preferences for some things over others, but most of the time I am not conscious of my decision making process or cognoscente of the factors I'm using in making choices.

I feel very lost and purposeless.

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